FAIRFAX, Calif. – April 1, 2012 – Amidst vibrant media speculation, RemodelBlog.net today announced it has offered the Obama administration to replace all light bulbs in- and outside The White House. No new fixtures will be installed, but repairs and replacements may be recommended. President Obama will be asked to briefly vacate the Oval Office to accommodate Remodel Blog workers.
According to RemodelBlog.net management, the offer was made because United States Presidents, Senate, and Congress continue to remain in the dark on effective governance and how to best represent its constituency. The influence of money, most of which is provided anonymously by corporations via super pacs, has substantially eroded the public’s trust in elected officials and their ability to lead the country objectively.
The White House has not yet replied to Remodel Blog’s offer. A senior spokesman who asked that his identity not be revealed because he is not authorized to speak publicly on this topic, speculated that the administration is trying to decide between incandescent, fluorescent, halogen, and LED-based bulbs. Others worry that White House officials are at odds about whether or not new bulbs will qualify for rebates. “How many Californians does it take to replace a light bulb?” a Senate staffer quipped. “Fifteen! One to screw in the bulb, and fourteen to share the experience!” In accordance with its typical modus operandi involving hearings, inquiries and special commissions, a decision is not expected until 2020. Critics are doubtful that the administration’s vision will have improved by that time. Fiat Lux, April Fools!